brociopath | [IC] Candle Call post!

Okay, I think I see the conflict...

Do you?

Well, that's the part where you decided for her, isn't it?

I don't think it's out of line for you to do so, but if you're deciding what should happen to get results that she hasn't expressed wanting... I mean, you know? I want a life where I don't have to kill, but that doesn't mean I'd be happy if I were forced to put my priorities aside for someone else.

So I should let her make choices that are going to get her the exact opposite thing she wants?

Why is it 'let'? What if she has two wants that conflict with each other?

Then she needs to go with the one that will make her less miserable.

And you think it's that one, but what if she thinks it's the other one? If her entire life has been spent under Vincent and under people like Vincent and under the fear of vanishing to Zwei, is turning the other cheek something that will make her less miserable?

I'm not saying she should do it, and I'm not saying you should support her doing it, but -- have you ever been a tool?

I'm not telling her to turn the other cheek. I want her to not murder someone. There are other things that can be done if she'd stop for long enough to let us help her think.

Murdering someone is a really small step for someone like her.

A step that won't accomplish anything and will only make more trouble for her.

I'm not debating whether or not it's a good idea here -- like I said, there's a reason I just didn't do it myself -- but you can't treat it as something which is a bigger deal to her than it is and expect her to feel like you understand her priorities...?

So what am I supposed to do?

...I don't know... but if you don't want to overwrite her you're going to need to understand where she's coming from...

She won't even talk to me so that I can now.

Won't how? Is she actively avoiding you?

. . . We're avoiding each other.

So you won't talk to her either...?

I haven't known what to say . . .

Okay, the way I see it -- and I mean, get other opinions, I'm not known for my emotional astuteness -- you have two choices.

What are they?

The first option is to let things be. You've had your say, you've found an incompatibility, you're having trouble talking to her. You don't have to continue if you don't want to.

And the other option?

Apologize to her for putting your priorities ahead of hers, explain why you did, and say you want to work things out together by hearing everything she's going through. You may ultimately be incompatable, but maybe she just wants people to try with her.

...there's really an appeal to people trying for you.

—Trying for her is what I've been trying to do! All I've wanted is to work with her!

Edited 2013-05-11 03:16 (UTC)

...I'm not accusing you of not, but if you're running counter to what she actually knowingly wants, it's not going to look that way.

Listen, in my opinion, the best way to go about it is to analyse what you'd do if you wanted to manipulate her reactions. Because that's a better look at what she wants.

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